Is it Necessary for Women over 30?”As he thinketh in his heart so is he”
A Dating strategy is something single women over thirty years of age should have. Whenever we want to purchase something of importance, we think it over, we research, explore, and investigate so why should dating be taken less seriously?
I heard the opportunity of talking to Chris Hart, the relationship expert in Kenya after he released his book Single and Searching. In that book he advocates that ladies need to come up with a dating strategy so he went to explain it to me what it is in a nutshell.
The first thing you need in the dating strategy is to know yourself – understand your personality, values, what drives you, what’s important and what matters to you? Aim going out to look for a man who shares your values principles. Start with simple things like your preferences how do you like to spend your time what do you like doing, what food do you like. What really drives you, what matters to you, what arguments do you have; you want somebody who is like you as possible.
Look for men who are like you. Think of where such men go to spend their free time? This is so that you may go out to the same places. Guys don’t look for women they go looking for fun, they go out to do the things they are interested in; they go to be with the other guys so you need to be in the same place as where your prospective would go to have fun or meet his friends. If you like a party kind of guy go to the sports area. Bottom line be in the same places as the guys you are interested in would be.Dating Strategy: Socialising in the Right Places
When every lady is dating, they are hoping that the man they are dating is the man of their dreams and it will end up in marriage. Chris Hart however says that a lady should have a time table when dating as part of a strategy.
The dating strategy advocates that ladies over 30 should date as many guys as possible and part of the strategy is to throw out Mr wrong. When you have a cup of coffee, you should be able to learn quite alot in 20 minutes. If it’s obvious he is not the man of your dreams, within 20 minutes, don’t waste more time. Eliminate him from further dating by the second dating.
Meet as many men as possible and eliminate those that do not fit what you are looking for. The remaining 10% you meet for a second date. At this stage your are two timing. You should have a list of questions and ticking against them. Eliminate the numbers quickly. You will find the right guy.
Then you start the time table so you tell him that you desire to be exclusive, that is, Monogamous. This is the test. If he says he like’s the boys you know he is not ready for a serious relationship. What you are doing is that you are causing many guy’s to fail the test and you want the ones that are left.
Dating Strategy: The Process after Elimination
After 6 weeks you should know which guy you want to become monogamous with and the next 6-8 weeks you do less and less formal dating and start hanging out together. This means doing normal things together like shopping, washing car, doing real people things because in restaurants people are at their best behaviours.
Within 9 months of dating, he should pop up the proposal. However, ladies should know that it is them make the decision not the guy. If you want to get married it is the lady who decides for the guy. How? He has to make the proposal but it is the lady who has to tell him to. 90% of the ladies do not know that unless they push the guy in that direction, he is likely never going to make that decision.
So how does a lady do that?
Start talking about the relationship. Where are we going? what plans do we have for the future? What’s going to happen over the next year or so? If he doesn’t get the hint after all those questions, you ask when are we “getting married?”.
If you continue dating for longer than 9 months, the chances of him marrying you start to fall. When you go out with a guy for 3, 4, 5 years. The chances of being married become practically zero. If you are in your 30’s you can’t have a guy for 3 years damp him, then take another for 3-5 years it is not going to work. You need to find out as early as possible if he will commit to you. So don’t let things go off for more than a year. If by 18 months he hasn’t pooped up the question, you give him a hard time and if he doesn’t succumb u let him go roho safi (clean heart).
Similar to you like doing similar things as you, share a similar attitude towards life. It’s easier to talk to someone who shares your values. Enjoy each other’s company. Watch for negative traits like being cruel to waiters, doesn’t call or pay you attention, burst of anger. If you find him peculiar, he is not for you. If you find out negative’s that you are not comfortable with quite early in the first 6 weeks.
The dating Strategy is basically a three step process. A lady must know what they want and need so that they can tell pretty quickly if the guy possesses it or not, Secondly a lady must socialise in the places where the kind of guy she would like to marry would date, this will take some research. Finally, a lady must eliminate time wasters by the second date if she is serious on this dating strategy.