Marriage is one institution that is under attack day and night. Yet statistics show that those who are married live longer, are more healthier ( if your spouse is faithful), are more happier, more richer and even.
That being said and done you find modern people do not want to get married. The lifestyle nowadays does not support marriage. It seems to many like marriage is just too burdensome. Like it takes away your freedom, like it stifles your development. This is made worse by radio stations that focus on the hardships of marriage. Somehow, they have a large listenership due to this fact. There are enough marriage bashers in modern society.
Modern lifestyle is also very convenient that one wonders if there is any need for marriage. In modern lifestyle you can practically do everything for yourself. In the olden days ladies got married for financial security but today the ladies have great jobs that can sustain them and their children. Men on the other hand got married because they wanted to have descendants, in modern society you can do that without having to get married.
So why would anyone want to get married?
The reason people got married long ago was mainly for the continuance of society. For procreation so that one’s name was continued, for men to have someone who ensured you had warm food when you arrived home and a warm bed. Today, with micro waves and electric bed warmers, getting married is something that one does for a greater reason than convenience or having descendants. It has to be due to reasons that cannot be bought with money.
Married: Marriage is a School
When you get married, you start learning more about your spouse more than you have ever done before. You start learning the real person, to the core. Marriage is referred to as a learning institution. It is a school where you learn about your spouse and more about you.
You will learn almost everything and some of the things you will learn will make you want to puke or leave your spouse. However those who pass the test in this school are those who choose to remain in the marriage. They are the ones who know what the word commitment means.
Commitment means that no matter what happens you are not leaving. It is best explained with children. No matter how your child behaves or does you can never give up on them as a parent. It is the most painful experience as a Parent but you just have to hold on. Why? Because you are committed to being a Parent to your child.
Another example is success. All those who have attained success will tell you of all the challenges that they have gone through. The difference between those who have attained success and those who haven’t is dependant on those who are committed to success. When faced with challenges you do not give up, you persist because you know what you want and desire. Persistence is a Character trait only found in Successful people, only they can tell you of the fruits of persistence.
The same with the school of marriage, you will experience allot of challenges mostly with your spouse or his relatives, your in-laws, however if you are committed to the marriage you shall not leave the marriage but learn what you have to learn and use what you learn to improve your married life.
There are many couples that do not quit their marriages despite the challenges but they become strangers living under the same roof. That is not what we are talking about. We are talking about using your marriage as a learning curve to create a better married you and spouse.
Married: Marriage is for Your Good
Its not a school where you just learn about life or your spouse but more importantly more about you.
Yes. When you get married you learn more about yourself. We have spoken earlier of using your life experiences to learn more about your spouse and your marriage life. But more importantly your marriage will reveal more about you.
You see you are the most important person in your marriage. So you will learn more about you and you will realise the areas you need to change in. All the challenges you experience in your marriage will make you ask yourself two questions: how did I contribute to this problem and what is this challenge teaching me about myself?
When you are committed to answering the above two questions every time you face challenges in your married life will never be the same again. It will help you become a better person. You are moulded and nurtured into a better person by virtue of being in that marriage. You see that is what all life is about – personal growth. We are supposed to grow inwardly on a daily basis and your marriage helps you to do that.
I have a close friend whom I have known for years on end. How I know her is that if her boyfriend was unfaithful on her and she learnt that he was being unfaithful, she would not even speak another word to him on learning of the news. She would just pick her stuff and leave and any present or thing the husband had bought her she would leave. She got married 10 years ago.
On the tenth year of marriage is when she learnt that her husband has been unfaithfull for all the 10 years and when she learnt this news she was heavily pregnant with her fourth child. When she thought about her options, she realized that separating from her husband would destabilise her family life and affect her children especially so she decided to deal with the issue without leaving her husband.
What do you think made my friend not to leave her matrimonial home and life? It is because she had come to learn how to ask herself these two questions – how have I contributed to this mess and what is this mess telling me about myself?
I am not saying that asking these two questions is easy. No, Change is never easy. Infact in marriage you will receive the most painful blows from life because they are from the person that you love most dearly. But have you ever heard of tough love.
It is this difficult and painful experiences that you go through in a married life that makes you a better person. The blows of life bring out the best in you, that is how God created life to be.
When I look at my life, it is more or less complete and I do not mind it at all. I am okay in every sense of the word but I find there is an aspect of me that is not developed because I have not been married. As a woman I have not submitted myself to a man. You see that kind of authority changes you inside out. Every experience you go through changes you on the inside and so does marriage. It develops a part of you that no other experience can do.