Kenya is made up of 42 tribes and one of the said communities is the Kikuyu. The woman from this community, normally referred to as the Kikuyu woman, is peculiar than her fellow sisters and she is the solution to her own problems.
The Kikuyu woman is from the Kikuyu community found in Kenya. She is a very hardworking, ambitious woman. She fits the western picture of a liberalised woman more than any other woman in Kenya.
The Kikuyu community believes that they originated from a woman called Mumbi and a man called Gikuyu. The two had 9 daughters and no sons. I do not know where the daughters got men to continue the race now referred to as the Kikuyu. You will therefore find that the Kikuyu are divided into 9 clans and each clan is named after one of the nine daughters. There is no other culture in Kenya with clans named after women.
In the Kikuyu history there is a woman leader called Wangu wa Makeri that is known for how she terrorised men. It is written her means of transport was behind the backs of men. When the Kikuyu man could not take it anymore, they plotted a coup de tat. It was in the form of impregnating all women at the same time so that when all the women were in their third trimester and not very strong in their pregnancy, the men could overthrow the Government and the rule of Kikuyu society ended up in the hands of men again up to the present day, somewhat.
In a nutshell that is the history of the community the Kikuyu woman originates from.
The Kikuyu Woman of Today
Today you will find that most Kikuyu homes are headed by the Kikuyu woman. She is the provider sometimes even when there is a husband. This is because the husband is too drunk or lazy to get a job or they are divorced. This is not to say there are no hardworking Kikuyu men in Kenya, there are but it seems like they are a minority.
The kikuyu woman is nurtured and reared to be masculine. To work hard, to provide for the family, so you will find that a kikuyu woman is very masculine in her ways. She does not know how to show her vulnerability or femininity because she was reared to be masculine yet she is not a man.
So you find getting a husband in Kenya where women are expected to be submissive is difficult for the Kikuyu woman because she is not a ‘woman’ per se. Bearing this in mind, how you know a Kikuyu woman loves you is another question all together. She is tough, go getter and that can be interpreted to be scary. The kikuyu woman is socialised to do all the things that men are supposed to do.
So who is to blame for the way the Kikuyu woman is? As I have said severally children are born knowing nothing so anything they know later on in life is as a result of what they have been taught. The first learning institution a child attends is their home.
Now, like I said that most kikuyu homesteads are led by the woman even where there is a husband. I guess it is because of the kikuyu history, a woman always had a prominent position from the very beginning. It seems that the Kikuyu women jobs is to run a homestead without the help of her husband.
So the same Kikuyu mothers bring up their children in a particular way which perpetuates this culture of the woman leading. It is the Kikuyu woman who determines which way her children will grow up. So she is the one bringing up a culture that keeps her the head but this disadvantages the woman.
You see when a kikuyu husband leaves a Kikuyu woman with three or more children. Life will be a struggle and yes the woman will eventually get out of the woods with determination but the pain and suffering you go through as a woman and the children, is too much. I think the Kikuyu woman is to blame for the Kikuyu woman dilemma.
The culture that it is the Kikuyu women’s job to nurture a family needs to change pronto so that the kikuyu man feels responsible for his own children.
However, It is the Kikuyu woman’s responsibility to bring about this change in the Kikuyu family. The Law in Kenya has changed to make men more responsible for their offspring but I do not think the Kikuyu woman wants to enforce the Law because keeping the children gives her an upper hand and it has been going on for so many generations that change will take generations to come.
The kikuyu woman when a girl unknowingly is brought up to work hard, to be ambitious, to be aggressive in life and to love your children with dear life. Nowhere is she taught how to be feminine or how to keep a husband unless ofcourse her mother is feminine and knows how to take care of her husband so she learns by observation.
Only the lucky whose fathers are present and the mothers respect their fathers, then you will know how to treat a man by observing their mothers. Submission is hard for a kikuyu girl to observe from her mother because the kikuyu woman is borne a fighter. She is socialised to fight for her rights. I can bet a million dollars very few Kikuyu women believe in have a joint bank account with their Kikuyu husband. The kikuyu woman will advise you that when married it is important to be wise – you should always have your own money on the side, even buy your own property on the side.
Almost all communities in Kenya, the child belongs to the man. This is such a wonderful concept and I envy those communities. In kikuyu community the Law is different, the woman owns the Children and I think this encourages promiscuity amongst Kikuyu men because deep down they know should the marriage breakdown, they will go scot free without responsibilities.
This is the interesting thing, one the kikuyu leaves with the children, the kikuyu husband will not support those children at all. He does not feel obligated to support children he is not seeing with his one eyes. Where do you think this culture comes from?
Who is to blame for the kikuyu woman’s issues? I think the kikuyu woman is to blame for the kikuyu woman problems. She is the one who manages the home, trains her sons and daughters in the way they should go. I have said more of training children in my article training children for the future. Only the kikuyu woman can sort this mess of raising dependants.
Because the sons see their mother working so hard and providing for them they become lazy. They grow up believing mother will provide for me in any case I am a son all that my mother achieves in her lifetime I will inherit. The kikuyu woman does nothing to change this belief system. So the son grows up knowing I do not have to work because mother works for me. They start drinking early and becoming irresponsible early. So the mother will be providing for this son for her lifetime. Do you blame the son?The Solution to the Kikuyu Woman Dilemma?
The kikuyu woman of whom I am one, we must change how we Parent our children both boys and girls. It is us the Parents who decide what our children will become when they grow up in terms of responsibility, organisation etc. It is how we socialise them from childhood.
Kikuyu girls need to be taught how to be feminine, to be women, be taught that the Children do not belong to her but to both her and her husband, that she should not do duties that are meant to be for the man no matter how much money she earns. It is a husbands duty to provide for his family in every sense of the word. I am not discounting the fact that a couple can agree to share duties but not taking on the responsibilities of your husband to the extent that he feels unneeded.
The boys on the other hand need to be brought up to know that they are the men and should never depend on a woman ever. They should be taught that they must provide for their family at all times, that it is their duty to protect their family no matter what. That sense of responsibility and love for family needs to be instilled into Kikuyu boys from an early age.
The kikuyu woman needs to evaluate the Kikuyu culture and make a conscious decision to change the Kikuyu culture by how we bring up our Children. Only the modern Kikuyu woman who can change this annoying culture that we inherited from our ancestors.